Financial Infidelity: How do I catch my spouse?

financial infidelity

How do I catch financial infidelity?

1. Ask for online access to credit and bank accounts.

Download full statements for a representative period of time. We suggest at least six months. If online access is not available, get statements from the mail. Make copies for yourself, preferably electronic copies by scanning.

2. Review transactions and note:

  • large cash withdrawals and the location of ATM usage, you may be able to pinpoint the destination of the cash withdrawals if in close proximity to strip club as an example
  • large debt or credit transactions
    1. Location of restaurant, bar and hotel expenses. Large restaurant or bar bills could indicate your spouse was not alone.
    2. Large retail store expenses, say Tiffany’s, might be indication of gifts being purchased for someone else or spending addiction. If you suspect a spending addiction look around the house for clothing with tags still on it either in bags or even hanging in the closet.

3. Get your credit report.

It is possible for your spouse to open credit cards on your credit without your knowledge or consent. Go to or to get a free copy of your report and look for any accounts you are not familiar with. If you find more credit cards than you were previously aware of this could be indication of large balances and growing indebtedness.

4. Compare your family expenses to net incomes and estimate what you should have in savings.

This may be the quickest way to confirm there are large amounts of missing money or unnecessary indebtedness. If your family’s net income after taxes is $10,000 per month and your expenses are $7,000 per month there should be $36,000 of available savings in a given year. If there is no money in savings or investments, you have reason to be suspicious.


Can anyone help me?

If all of these steps fail to return the answers you seek consider hiring a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst at Wellspring Divorce Advisors to analyze the family financial picture and uncover financial infidelity. We will help ensure no stone is left unturned and tell you if there is something to worry about you can move on with peace of mind.

Worried? Here are 20 Questions to Uncover Financial Infidelity


What questions should you ask if you are worried about financial infidelity?

If you’re worried your spouse is being financially unfaithful,  here are 20 questions we ask a client who suspects their spouse of financial infidelity. They are all meant to uncover underlying causes or avenues for financial infidelity. You should ask yourself these questions before accusing your spouse of wrongdoing.

  1. Do you have separate bank accounts?
  2. Is your name on the family bank accounts?
  3. Is your name on the mortgage?
  4. Do you have a relationship with the family financial advisor?
  5. Do you know how much your spouse earns and how they get paid?
  6. Who gets the mail and pays the bills?
  7. Are there credit cards you know nothing about?
  8. Are your family bank and investment account balances lower than you would expect?
  9. Are there unopened boxes or clothing hanging in the closet with tags still on it?
  10. Is money an emotional conversation in your marriage?
  11. Does your spouse gamble?
  12. Does your spouse day trade a stock portfolio?
  13. Are there abnormally large expenditures charged to debit cards at department or grocery stores?
  14. Do you suspect your spouse of having an emotional or physical affair?
  15. Are you on an allowance?
  16. Does your spouse do business with family members?
  17. Do you suspect your spouse of misusing prescription or other drugs?
  18. Have you ever wondered where your spouse got the money to buy a big ticket item?
  19. Does your spouse own their own business?
  20. Is it possible your spouse has been planning for divorce for a long time?


Call Wellspring Divorce Advisors for professional financial help if these questions heighten your sense of concern. Click here for an overview of financial infidelity in a previous post.