Tag Archive for: Divorce Mediation

20 Questions to ask a Divorce Attorney before retaining them

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Here are some examples of questions you should consider asking a divorce attorney before retaining them. They are listed, loosely, in order of importance. The questions are designed to help make sure you hire an attorney who:

  • spends the majority, if not all, of their time practicing family law
  • has the skills to settle your case outside of court if possible as this is always the preferred conclusion
  • recognizes the value of experts in finance and mental health
  • can provide you reassurance you will be fairly billed and paid attention to during the emotional process of divorce
  1. What percentage of your practice is divorce?
  2. What kind of trial experience have you had in divorce?
  3. What percentage of your cases settle outside of court?
  4. Are you a certified specialist in family law?
  5. How many divorces did you work on last year?
  6. Do you typically engage experts such as forensic accountants, certified divorce financial analysts, child custody experts and vocational evaluators?
  7. Do you use experts as trial consultants to help you prepare case theory on specific issues?
  8. Do you typically try to settle cases?
  9. Are you trained in mediation?
  10. Do you provide unbundled legal services?
  11. How do you bill?
  12. Can you estimate what your fees will be?
  13. Other than attorney fees, are there any costs that I will need to pay?
  14. How much do you think these costs will be?
  15. Will an assistant do the work or are you going to work on it yourself?
  16. How will I be charged for your assistant’s work?
  17. Who is the contact person in your office?
  18. What can I do to keep my fees down?
  19. How do temporary spousal support and child support work?
  20. How long will it take to finish the divorce process?

Wellspring Divorce Advisors advocates all clients have legal representation during divorce. A large percentage of Americans do divorce without legal assistance but we believe he/she who represent themselves have a fool for a client. Please get legal advice. If you cant afford it find an attorney who provides unbundled services so you can just pay as you go without a large retainer.

Harold and Sue Ann Hamm Divorce For $18 Billion – Business Insider

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This could be America’s largest ever divorce settlement. The article attached reports that Mr. Hamm may be forced to sell his stake in Continental Resources in order to pay for the settlement to Ms. Hamm. While this is certainly a possibility I seriously doubt there is a real likelihood Mr. Hamm would have to sell his entire stake. In the perfect world the couple would have resolved their differences outside of court and been able to fashion a financial settlement that did not put Continental Resources in jeopardy.

With an estate of this size the couple could have found a much more economically sound, private and effective way of coming to an agreement outside of the court system which by design has limits to the types of orders they can fashion.

Harold and Sue Ann Hamm Divorce For $18 Billion – Business Insider.

 

Divorce Mediation – The Balance of Power

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Divorce Mediation

Divorce mediation is a process that requires transparency, equality and a level playing field in order to facilitate a successful resolution.

Balance of Power

It is common for one party to hold all the cards when it comes to financial knowledge and power in a marriage. We have the economic theory of comparative advantage to thank for this reality.

Comparative advantage at its simplest says the person most suited for a task should be the one to perform it or risk wasting valuable economic resources. In a marriage this means the spouse most skilled in financial management, most interested in financial issues or most concerned about their financial future will take over management of the family finances. Sometimes, especially in the marriages of two busy professionals, it comes down to simply giving the tasks to the spouse who has the time. Trust is abundant during happy marriages and the non-managing spouse will often not be a part of the day-to-day budget and investing decisions, instead choosing to trust their spouse has it all under control.

Like it or not, this kind of decision-making creates a power imbalance unless the couple regularly works together to keep one another in the loop. Unfortunately we know from experience this rarely occurs. We also know from experience and research that financial disagreements are the most common disagreement leading to divorce. We have to keep in mind all of the emotional undertones of money. Money means power, safety and security and allows American families to buy, borrow and save for the things they believe will make their lives and the lives of their children more comfortable such as nice homes, iPads, automobiles and organic food.

When a power imbalance begins to develop, these emotions start to come to a head. A woman anxious about her family’s financial security may start to remedy the power imbalance later in life by asking the questions she never cared to ask before.

  • How much is in our retirement savings accounts?
  • How are the funds invested?
  • Are we on track?
  • Do we have a financial adviser we trust?

A man anxious about how the family bills are paid may want to engage in tasks previously left to his wife.

  • Can I look at our budget?
  • How much credit card debt do we have?
  • How much do we spend every month?

Marriages end when these questions begin to come up because many couples lack the tools to navigate the difficult conversations, especially when one person’s expectations are not met when they get answers.

Divorce Mediator’s Job

When one party in a divorce holds all the financial data and knowledge it creates a major power imbalance. A divorce mediator’s job is to level the playing field for the couple. What may have been acceptable during marriage when trust was prevalent doesn’t pass muster in divorce financial planning. In order for a couple to successfully navigate a divorce mediation they must have the same information from which to make decisions. Transparency must be mandated by the divorce mediator and the mediator must help to create this transparency where necessary. This may mean

  1. assisting in the gathering of financial data and documents,
  2. facilitating conversations between the parties,
  3. engaging other financial professionals to assist in educating clients to level the playing field

If a mediator is unable to provide this balance of power and create a level playing field for clients to operate from in a divorce mediation the parties may struggle to meet minds on the financial picture. You may even start to distrust the other’s intentions and leave the divorce mediation process seeking an advocate who will level the playing field through formal financial discovery such as depositions and subpoenas.

Wellspring Divorce Advisors Can Help

If you are navigating mediation and feel at a disadvantage when discussing financial issues, Wellspring Divorce Advisors can act as a consultant to the divorce mediation process and help to level the playing field so you can negotiate the most financially advantageous settlement possible. We also have trained mediators who can work as a financial issue specific mediator during your divorce mediation.

Navigating Divorce Mediation – How to Manage the Process for Clients

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divorce mediation, cdfa

Clarity about process in Divorce Mediation is absolutely mandatory for success.

The concept of Divorce Mediation has proliferated in America in the last thirty years as divorcing parties have realized that divorce court should be an option of last resort. Divorce Mediation supports the decision making of the people whose lives are actually affected by the decisions and allows divorcing individuals a sense of control of the outcome IF it is done right.

Divorce Mediation is a delicate process. Here are some things to keep in mind when considering Divorce Mediation.

Balance of Power:

Too much power on one side of the table creates an unsafe environment. The power could be due to the marital dynamic, control of financial resources of access to information. A skilled Divorce Mediator will recognize the power imbalance together with the dynamic creating it and set out to level the playing field.

Safe Container:

Lack of a safe container leaves couples feeling lost in the ambiguity of a complicated decision making process set a midst a legal dispute. A skilled Divorce Mediator will insure the couple is constantly apprised of where they are in the process, next steps in the process, homework assignments to be completed and time-lines for their completion and maintain an awareness for the parties of the legal process they are engaging in.

The Mediator:

“Mediators” are unregulated. There is no credential that guarantees a Divorce Mediator has the requisite knowledge and experience to assist a couple in navigating the largest financial transaction of their lives. Together with the proliferation of the Divorce Mediation process has come the proliferation of Divorce Mediators. Individuals with backgrounds varying from business owners to lawyers to accountants and financial advisors to Marriage and Family Therapists and Psychologists to law school graduates who never passed the bar exam and para-legals have hung up shingles as Divorce Mediators. Divorce Mediation is a process that can be taught. What can not be taught is the human dynamic that occurs during the process. For this reason it is important to engage a Divorce Mediator with experience and training specific to Divorce. This probably means a Lawyer and/or Certified Divorce Financial Analyst.

Costs:

Beware the flat fee Divorce Mediation. I have never seen a couple successfully navigate and complete a divorce for a flat fee. It is an unfair expectation to set a client up for. Often the professional will reach the extent of the time they have allocated for the flat fee and ask for more money or begin to dis-engage and abandon the parties before the Divorce Mediation process has been completed. Divorce mediation is not always cheap. Failed mediation proceedings may be a complete waste of money and time. I see Divorce Mediation proceedings fail all of the time.

Divorce Mediation Defined:

Just because you resolve your differences outside of court does not mean you are engaging in Divorce Mediation. Mediation is a process where a Neutral facilitator guides a couple through decision making around legal, emotional and financial issues that must be resolved in a divorce. Most Divorce cases resolve outside of a court room in settlement conferences, Collaborative Divorce of formal settlement proposals via letters between legal counsel. Couples need to understand that Divorce Mediation is not the only way to resolve their differences outside of court. Many will be better served by a process where they have legal counsel actively engaged which usually does not occur in Mediation.

 

 

 

wellspring divorce advisors

Wellspring Divorce Advisors helps individuals and couples address the financial aspects of divorce in a civilized, equitable, and efficient manner by providing expert divorce financial planning and advice.

Contact us to find out how we can help you through this process.

 

Working With Attorneys in Mediation

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mediation, CDFA

In an article from HuffPost, they offer great tips on how to choose a “Mediation Friendly” lawyer. But here are more tips on how to effectively find the right team to help you with your divorce.

 

Ask your mediator for referrals to attorneys they know, respect and have worked with.

The consulting attorney you hire will be the only source of advice regarding your rights and obligations under the law. You need this advice so do not choose the least expensive person you can find. They may even be asked to draft legal documents such as Marital Settlement Agreement or Qualified Domestic Relations Order. Remember, No matter what method you choose to divorce, it is a legal process and legal advice is necessary.

Consider also having a financial advisor help you understand the short and long-term ramifications of settlement options.

Divorce is the largest financial transaction that many people will experience and you will live with the results of your decisions for the rest of your life. Make sure they are made with all of the financial information at your fingertips and expert advice from someone experienced in the financial intricacies of divorce. Google Divorce Financial Planning and look for a professional with Certified Financial Planner and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst credentials.

A financial planner experienced in divorce financial planning will help you gather the necessary data, level the playing field in financial knowledge when one party has not been involved in the family management and even help you brainstorm settlement options to take back to mediation.

 

wellspring divorce advisors

 

Wellspring Divorce Advisors helps individuals and couples address the financial aspects of divorce in a civilized, equitable, and efficient manner by providing expert divorce financial planning and advice.

Contact us to find out how we can help you through this process.